Again with the --
I can see the place for it inside a sentence, but at the end of one it's rather unnecessary since we already know there's supposed to be a pause there.

The metaphors and imagery you use is great if slightly unconnected to each other, at least in the mind of the reader.

"Why did my bird fly away
before I was driven? "
doesn't make much sense outside the context of the poem, but all right, maybe it doesn't need to.

Nice choice of words and great opening.

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Did I really mean that? Probably.

I enjoyed the extended metaphor in this poem and the focus on describing it and many aspects of it.

I enjoyed the first stanza the most because I'm obsessed with wings, birds, and the ideas of flight

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I like Dr. Pepper and Yurbys <3

The language in which you use is very personal and metaphorical. I lack my own personal understanding of the poem but it sounds pretty. I think sometimes a simpiler way to explain how you feel turns out better than a language in which is only for one. ;]

This is a very beautiful piece, complex and very original.

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- "Creativity is creativity. Never dismiss a talent simply because it doesn't fit your image of what and who you think you are. You are more than just the sum of or your talents."

I would like to applaud you for the sturcture of this poem, which comes full circle nicely and contains a story within a story. This makes the poem stand out and marks you as a poet on her way to more mature work.

I also though the emotion was well conveyed. I got a feeling of being unable to make choices -- inevitability -- very clearly.

Cyranicles above made some good suggestions. Watch your word choices: "teemed", "destine" and "foreran" sounded out of place to me... Poetry, more than any other form of writing, requires careful word selection. Conventional word usages are always best. They are relatively flexible and can be used in original ways. Unusual or incorrect usages aren't the way to be original.For example, "polar crippled their beauty", could be better said in other ways, including "ice (or frost) crippled their beauty".

I like 'in stone -- nothing was written". It would have quite a different meaning if you'd reversed the sentence order as the other DA suggested. The way you've written it points out the neutrality of the turn in the road. The road (stone) does not have any intentions. It is what it is and sometimes stuff just happens. Reversing a common saying as you've done, is also a nice way to catch the readers attention and get them thinking about the meaning of the reversed axiom. So let this line stand.

Very nice work!

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“Make [your] characters want something right away—even if it’s only a glass of water."-- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.